Ah, word confusion! some people use the dictionary definition, and others do not. There is no monolith of any ideology, and feminism is esp diverse. Many, many macho men identify as feminists, but so do many "girly girls" and everyone in between. As Jakub says.

My husband is also very loved by a feminist, as is your partner, but he knows and accepts, he is a feminist. We disagree on many, many "ideologies"but at the end of the day we both think fairness is good. Women and feminist are different words, yes, but men and women who are feminists care about equality, not gender.