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How To Deal With Needy Relationships
We all need love, but we also need to give love
A bit too needy
My husband ignores my need for an affectionate, morning cuddle. He grouses, turns away, and goes back to sleep. I feel rejected, and lonely. Breakfast can be tense because he doesn’t understand why I feel vulnerable.
Psychologists have long known that most people are “needy” at some point in our lives. Some may hide it better than others, but it always leaks out eventually. Have you ever known a couple where one partner seems more discontent than the other? Let’s call this couple, John and Maria. You are close friends with Maria and she never stops telling you about how John isn’t sensitive enough, or affectionate, or “John doesn’t do the dishes or laundry, even when I’ve had an overwhelming day.”
Or maybe, you are good friends with John. John tells you that Maria just doesn’t want to be as fun as she used to be. Or that she is grumpy, or nagging, too much of a perfectionist, or “can’t take a joke.”
If you have ever met people like this, or if you have ever been people like this, congratulations, you are a human being with needs.
I think that the secret to happiness with dealing with “needy” people, is to acknowledge that all of us are needy people…