I’m Snowflake the Kitten, And I Demand Universal Healthcare
A young kitty translates his desperate plea through writer Christyl Rivers
I’m a a survivor. I ‘ve been through so much: FHV-1, rescue cat colony fleas, mites, psycho-feral “mommy dearest”, blindness, loss of my siblings and more.
Now I am ready for the Trump administration to stop pussy-footing around. Stop deflecting attention about porn stars, witch hunts and Putin, and just use all those billions that defense contractors and corrupt grafters don’t need, to help kittens thrive. Kittens like you. And Me.
Grab me by the pussy paws, and give us healthcare! And more than ever, we need neuter and spay clinics to reduce the increasing number of groped females having too many Bret cats, and too many disgusting Toms on the prowl.
Yeah. I’m white, and male, but my privilege seems to have vanished like a toy mousie — on my right side — under a mysterious, magic blanket.
This is my first life, (I don’t know if there really is a Ceiling cat, or Egyptian, Bast Goddess). This life may be my only one. I want to see the world. With two eyes. But one has grown shut, like the blindness to justice in the world !
Yes. We demand universal healthcare for citizens. Regardless of race, color, creed or species. Except those viral species that are likely to kill us all in the coming Trumpocolypse plagues. Those we don’t need so much, there will be enough bacterial infections in the up-creeping floods and famines.
Speaking of creeps. Has anyone out there noticed this is a vile administration? Not even cute, cuddly, or curious about reality. Cats are curious, we want to know what the hell is wrong with all of you?
Most ginger cats are friendly, but somehow American and Russian human peoples, (I’m speculating here about the full purrsons part) managed to find the wost orange cat in the world. Not Hep Cat. Not Comfort kitty. Not even “good kitty.”
This loser, so beset by scandal and corruption, had the gall to call other world dictators “animals.” He does not seem to know that most animals are much, much better behaved than people. His kids even murdered a gorgeous leopard cat!
My point is, I need eye surgery. I’m a cat and I know nothing about how to use your strangely addictive social media and highly surveilled Muggle-tubes. In fact, this is being recorded while my owner writes to a friend using some kind of barter tuna-for-kitty- litter-and favors technology.
Help us all. Let’s get universal healthcare like Mittens Romney got for all those purrsons. Some fat cats are better than others. Mew.