Mistaken Ideas People Have About Sex, And Gender

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Too often we put each other in boxes, Christyl Rivers

Often enough, I venture out into the Weird Wide Web to see what people say, what they think, and most of all, what they do.

People have very strange ideas about what we want from one another, and they have incredibly mistaken views about one another. Some of these views seem to be sunk into concrete, hardened into rigid forms, and completely wrong.

The world appears to be more tribal and intolerant now than ever before. These chasms that appear to separate us are largely the result of media wave-making. They are a kind of mirage hovering above the dry desert of our thirsty lives. We can all quench that thirst with science, and compassion.

Never forget, that what all of us thirst for is righteousness. A mirage often offers a simple answer. But there are no simple answers with homo sapiens.

However, as much we see the divide, and we do, we must constantly be reassured that human beings are flawed witnesses, we have more in common than we realize. We are best able to understand one another when we see each other as whole, if not entirely perfect, people.

Trans people, and some who identify as intersex, are speaking out about wanting to walk about in the same kind of freedom that others do. This is not an outrageous demand. Nor is it one that very many of us ‘others’ have had to grapple with throughout history. That we have not had to face discrimination due to privilege should wake us up, but instead, it has the exact opposite response in some people that cringe at the thought of ‘confused’ gender. They drift into the comfortable dream that it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, so “That’s that.”

We who have always known our cis status are the ones who are confused about those people to which we cannot assign a quick binary label upon. The real disconnect is our inability to see that there are others out there who have not had a simple, straightforward and universally ‘accepted’ label.

We, who by just giving a moment of empathetic thought can understand this, can ally with those who have suffered due to easy, quick and non-reflective tendencies to put people in bright and shiny boxes in order to sort them out. When we collectively try to put people in over-simplified categories, it is we, not they, who display our inattention, apathy, and lack of compassion.

The idea that biology is just biology, or even that socialization is just socialization, is fraught with over-easy assumptions.

Just remember that almost everything we were ever taught historically, especially when it touches upon social mores and conventions, has been wrong:

Columbus did not discover America. Nature shows homosexuality is natural. White males are not stronger, nor smarter, nor ‘better’ than others. Pluto is not a planet.

The more we learn, the more we learn we have much to learn.

Too many people assume there was once an easy last century, sitcom world, why not return there? But the satisfying, fantasy world of WASP 1950’s and 60’s sitcoms never existed for minorities, most women, and LGBTQ people.

The world we do live in, however, functions daily because most people have compassion. No matter what color, creed, or complexity, we always have more in common than we have not. Use that, to love thy neighbor, and defend him or her, from harm.

Written by

Ecopsychologist, Writer, Farmer, Defender of reality, and Cat Castle Custodian.

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