People Must Learn To Cry Right

For The Love Of Jesus, stop apologizing for crying

Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

Very Unpopular Strong Opinions Blog by Christyl Rivers

Straighten up and cry right

Jesus wept,” goes the most popular bible verse known. It’s short, and sweet, and powerful. It says a lot about Jesus as a man and as social justice warrior.

When asked his favorite bible verse, the previous white house resident could not think of one. If he could say anything about what Jesus said, it might be:

Oh, yeah. Jesus. Great guy. Great guy. Gotta love that guy. He came up to me. He came to see me. Big guy. Tears in his eyes. He was a big guy, but tears in his eyes. He said, “Sir,” big tears — like a baby — “Sir, I really love you, sir…”

It is true that whenever a clueless, supposedly strong man, moron talks about emotion, he thinks that superhuman men should not cry. He would never cry, only those subservient, lesser than, and of course all “big guy, super tough men” in awe of his alpha-ness would cry.

I am certain Jesus did.

Manly strength

It is women who most apologize for appearing “emotional.”

“Sorry”, she will say, turning away, or looking down. People often feel “too professional” to show their tears. On the other wet hanky, though, often, men, however, are seen as sensitive angels when they cry.

I think when a public man sheds a tear, a dark angel gets demon wings, because, except in the case of truly secure and truly strong men, men who do tear up frequently do so for personal, and/or political gain.

This is weaponized by people like Rittenhouse, or any other killer, racist, misogynist, bigoted jerk who understands how to use tears as a tool, but not as a genuine human reaction.

Empathy tears are warm. Self-serving tears are hot — as in stolen.

…Sorry. Give me a second. Sorry.

Most of us real people, genuinely emotional, are ashamed of our tears. It’s strange isn’t it, that anger, rage, and even hostility in men is not called out as “emotional.” Or hysterical. Even anger in women is more expected, but it takes little time to start calling a woman who shows anger a Karen, or that popular B word that is thrown about like beer at a Kavanaugh brat frat bash.

Or victimhood tears at a hearing.

When we cry, we’re sorry. That’s messed up.

We stutter. We apologize. We show in every way that tears are considered weakness. Women are considered weak. Emotional. Therefore, tears must equal weakness.

The facts are that Nature invented our tears for cleansing, healing, de-toxifying, purging, and lubricating the human vision and heart. Yet, we take this valuable service and add shame to it. Sobbing and grief have no place in our mucho macho culture.

Putin’s poker face

Putin does not show emotion. No. Wait, I take it back. If you have seen the smirk on the sociopathic face when he realized the last administration of traitors was happy to defend him rather than our own soldiers and spies, voters, electorate, and more, you know the gloat face does feel something.

Please note though, that Putin is not crying for Ukraine, his self-described, “own family,” or his own sanction-suffering people in Russia. There are also no tears for the thousands he has devastated in past global wars, and more.

Human beings who feel humanity should be able to cry.

It says so much about how we are all programmed that expressing sadness is forbidden. Feeling hate, rage, gloating, or hostility, is A-Okay.

My brother — who committed suicide as a young man — was taught never to show his feelings, his tender side, his human nature. In trying to understand why, I became a psychologist, and later an ecopsychologist (one who learns our evolved belonging to nature/ Earth.)

I too, often hide crying. Most of us do. We are programmed to be sexist, and this is just one sure sign of our unconscious bias. We are told that crying equals weakness. Sadly, though, it is just not true.

The opposite is true. If we can express our emotions, we should safely do so and thank God (or evolution) for this amazingly, uniquely healing, human gift. Internally, though, I cry for all the world, and nature herself, who weeps regularly, just like Jesus does.

We’re in for some rain.

There is a reason the sea is salt.

Humanity needs to grow up and learn that controlling emotion means expressing ourselves, not stuffing it all down into a possible nuclear aggression later on.



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Christyl Rivers, Phd.

Christyl Rivers, Phd.


Ecopsychologist, Writer, Farmer, Defender of reality, and Cat Castle Custodian.