The psychology of why some men and women are attracted to the repulsive
It starts without gender then goes horribly wrong
The scientific word for people who are attracted to what most people consider abhorrent is hybristophilia. A woman who wants a bad boy boyfriend serving prison time is sometimes hybristophiliac. A man who wants a woman who doesn’t want him can become a hybristophiliac. The term itself is genderless.
However, most people think of a female as hybristophiliac much more often, as it is also known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
If you are attracted to someone powerful, who is also dashingly handsome, masculine, a bit risky, and adventurous, you are not however, not a hybristophiliac. You are just a regular woman or man, dude.
Bonnie and Clyde syndrome, and even Stockholm Syndrome, tends to create the visual image of a women who “falls for” her abuser. But there are exceptions, of course.
For example, a woman who marries a man in prison, has her own individual reasons. She may or may not be attracted to his dark past. If she is attracted to his dark past, such as Carol Ann Boone who married serial killer Ted Bundy, she likes the element of control, her special status (he would never hurt me — that’s how much he loves me). But there is much more to it than that.
A woman who likes the freedom and security of assuming her jailed spouse is not cheating on her feels more comfort and reassurance. However, in most such cases, and certainly in the case of women who love red pilled men, they want to nurture.
Women who have swallowed the red pill have motivation very different from the men they love. Men are often motivated by their feelings of alienation, or their disdain for political correctness. Women red pillers sincerely feel empathy, love, and generosity toward him and are somehow misled to believe that feminists don’t feel that same way toward men. (although the whole mission of feminism, is to rescue humans who feel voiceless, regardless of their sex or gender — but that’s another story.)
Men want to be in control, Women want to be in control
Women roles as nurturers are well known. It is one of the most confining, and sometimes freeing, roles we demand of women. It is one of the least demanded of men who consider it “feminine.” Equality and feminist movements seek to cure that, by allowing both men and women to be strong nurturers. Nonetheless, this tendency for those men who eschew it helps to explain why they misunderstand women who support them as being anti-feminist.
But many experts find the term hybristophilia inadequate, or downright wrong, as a term. For example, according to research by crime expert Sheila Isenberg, Boone was smitten not so much for Bundy’s charm (he had little) and intelligence. His “brilliance” was manufactured by the popular media.
Boone only snapped out of her infatuation for her notorious spouse many years after he was executed. She realized her youth and the media attention around the case did make Boone feel special.
She was the one person on Earth wonderful enough to nurture a sociopathic bloodthirsty killer into the healed, gentle boy he never got to be as a man.
So, women, especially those who lack power within a patriarchal society, crave a forceful super power that allows them to heal such men. Think of that, if women could heal these broken men the whole world would be better!
I believe this is part of the reason why some manosphere men mistake their female supporters for some sort of masculinity groupies. Ironically, those women want to feel empowered, and they also want to show they are intelligent enough to know these men who are charged with misogyny, are just gems waiting to be recovered from their ruby red pill rage.
It’s just another case of confirmation bias and projection run amok. When men really grow to resent women who don’t have the decency to yield to their advances, they project their insecurity onto her vulnerability and chalk it up to their forceful manhood.
Uncommon, and that’s good
Another psychology expert, Dr. Louis Schlesinger of John Jay College, explains that given our unequal status, there are just not as many women who rape and murder, dislike consent, or who think women should be subservient. He sees true hybristophilia as rare.
Hybristophilia cases of toxic masculinity are exclusively man-on-woman crimes. (Even in cases like Aileen Wuornos or Lorena Bobbitt, these self-defense crimes occurred as a response to toxic masculinity, not as an imitation of it.)
Schlesinger believes that people who are sexually attracted to brutality (or just verbal misogyny) are so uncommon that there is simply not enough research on too few cases to really know if any men have a paraphilia complex about any women who are criminally toxic.
This is also why most people are naturally repulsed by red pillers, Incels, MRAs and PUAs. (Men’s Rights Activists and Pick Up Artists).
Being turned on by power is real, not rare
I think in cases of polygamist cults and similar relationships, there is an element of females wishing to assert their power as nurturers and sister wives.
In the 21st century, most of us have been socialized to understand that sexism itself is repulsive. We all crave fairness. Kindness. Respect. The rare red piller is sought out by some women who miss the only respect they ever got which if from being nurturing. They miss the only appreciation they ever got, which is from their youth, beauty, sexuality, and fertility.
Also, some really do just miss the Make America Great Again world that never was.
In their minds, of course you should reject feminism because feminists hate men. They believe that young white women were protected and defended once by strong, alpha males. Marginalized people, who now threaten to “replace” and repopulate this fairy tale land that never was, were once invisible.
It will be a wonderful day when people lost in the pink and bewildering fog of red pill rabbit hole ideology step back into the actual, imperfect, world we can create from actual fairness.
There are broken men. Some of these men don’t see their misogyny. They see a better world where women adore strong, masculine males. Cult leaders like Charles Manson and David Koresh didn’t think they were sexists, they thought they were visionaries, generous enough to collect and share their vision (and bed) with naïve girls.
To some extent, I think that Harvey Weinstein and even Jeffrey Epstein thought that what they have to offer by way of fame and riches presented a “legitimate” quid pro quo.
Hybristophilia is a paraphilia, just a lesser known one than objectophilia, or pedophilia. I for one, do not think it is the right word at all. For one thing, many misogynistic men are pedophiles, and objectophiles in their mistaken belief that women want to be ravished by them.
It is the wrong term for the female hybristophiliac, who really is just turned on by the idea of being able to let down her socially imposed guard and be taken by a powerful stud. Rape fantasy, which is a form of empowerment and control in a woman’s mind, goes horribly wrong when it gets into the mind of a sexist man who thinks it’s what all women want.
A better term for men who are attracted to hyper feminine women would be limited traditionalist. But for a female who is attracted to those “bad boys” I think the word should just be “confused.”