Spies, Rats, and Russians In Hawkins?

Season 3 explained, Some spoilers ahead, but mostly nothing scary but Mike

The most competent professionals in Hawkins, six children and an ice cream man, are scouring Hawkins for Russian threats. Having intercepted code that clearly indicates Hawkins, and indeed, all of small-town America, is about to be nuked beyond all American exceptionalism, the children are determined to save us all.

Meanwhile, the chief of police is on an even more critical mission, His daughter, El, has learned to kiss. The boy in question is a bit of a dweeb, and Hop knows his daughter can do better. Job ONE is getting that boy away from his precious daughter, never mind the exploding rats, and lethal, sneaky Russians. There may also be an Upside Down, influenced life-guard, known and loved as ‘Billy,’ threatening the populace — at least the wet ones in the pool — and rampaging after hours into Demogorgon territory.

Chief Hopper, or Hop, as he is known, is working overtime, to help El escape the juvenile clutches of the nerdy boy. Knowing, that El, too, is a bit geeky, just makes him worry all the more. What if they get urges to do typical teenage boy and girl stuff? What if they rub against one another? What if Mike gets awkwardly engorged in certain prepubescent parts, looking about ready to explode like an aroused, and frantic, rabid rat?

The situation, according to Hop, is very, very dangerous.

Meanwhile, also, what is up with those stupid ‘Scoops Ahoy’ uniforms? Surely, they are a distraction meant to deter all eyes from what the Russkies are up to (?) to say nothing of the strange, electromagnetic disturbances that are most likely somehow linked to the magnetic attraction between Mike and El, and Max, and Lucas. As Einsteins mused, miraculous attractions beyond physics are often known to make people fall in love. (Not what he said, at all, but similar.)

Like everything else in Hawkins, the risks, the clues, the magnets and the ratty Russians,all fall together and make perfect sense.

We just need to break the code, find the silver cat and the blue and yellow in the west. This reporter, even more earnest and professional than novice Nancy Wheeler, has a theory.

Silver usually means money, or a horse, as in “Hi Ho Silver,” or “Ahoy, Scoops Matey, pieces of eight” (Sensate?) Sense eight, as in six children, two adults: the ice cream man and the new girl, whose name I forget. Oh, and West probably refers to West World, a place where things make even more sense because time travel is involved. People in the futuristic West World are more advanced, smarter, and got rid of all Mall threats, from Zombies to rats, easily, and with far less ridicules hair and clothing styles. They also have horses with silver robotic parts.

What about China, you may ask? The Russian code ends with: “A trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly.” The super secret is not out yet, I can’t binge that fast, but maybe it refers to the Pamper a Panda Workshop store at Starcourt Mall? Just sayin.

Shadow monsters aside, I think season three will end with the threat of Mike being abandoned, as a new threat, China syndrome-like, will result in Hop having a complete nuclear meltdown.

Whatever it all means, it will be very, very logical, just as secretly constructing an entire Russian Base under a Super, duper crowded Mall, or yelling at a teenager to get them to do something ALWAYS works out just super. And Duper.

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