Thanks for wonderful insights. My older brother died from suicide when I was a kid. The next older brother sought to be tough and rich. The third also was competitive, but collapsed with addiction as he could never live up to his "manly role." Our father was a rigid military man.

They are all dead. Our family fell closer to the indoctrination that your father felt. Things are changing and roles are expanding. That is a wonderful, but messy, messy process.