Part one of a two part series: Man hating is not really a thing.
There are ongoing, pernicious and persistent myths about the aims of feminism. One of the most persistent is that it is solely for the benefit of women. Some people even believe feminism is anti-male. This makes no sense, as in the challenge to gain justice for all, exclusion is the enemy!
We need male feminists. We need men to love women, and that means no man-hating allowed.
There probably are a few very damaged people out there who hate the other sex, but there are also police who hate their employers, clerks who hate their boss, and hairdressers who hate their clients. But feminism is not a collected entity, it’s just people you know, like every other diverse clump of humanity.
Despite all the diversity there is in this card-less club, the speaker saying: “Feminists want this, or that” cannot possibly know what every single self-identifying feminist really wants. Do you know what every clerk wants just because they self identify as a “clerk?”
Since the seeking of justice does not favor a gender, but a mutual respect and regard for a fellow human, men will benefit, too. Many feminists are men, and many more are just men (and women, too) who don’t realize that in actuality, they do support feminism. It is upsetting that misandry, or man-hating, is associated with feminism, because love of all humans is involved. After we stop injuring one another, we can move that compassion toward the whole creation, toward less domination over all. Mother Earth needs this SOON.
My favorite feminist is Jimmy Carter. Who is yours?
Who the man?
The phrase “The man” used to indicate the boss, usually a man, and almost always a white man, and almost always a richer man (than most men), and almost always a more powerful man.
Logically, men who want fairness also benefit from a fair system. Both males and females suffer the consequences of over-entitlement. Who is hurt most is not a competition.
One example is the wage gap, you can argue –and face it, we all will — that statistics can be twisted to always fit an “agenda.” However, when the agenda everyone agrees upon is better pay for hard working people regardless of sex, we all benefit. Better opportunity for advancement, better family leave, better health coverage, (even for parenthood planning, and personal autonomy), more comfort and safety at work and commute, and more representation in all levels of service, industry, political office, and management jobs, benefits society. So, then, it makes no sense for men to suspect their wives, daughters, or mothers are out to dominate any of these places in the world.
Conversely, men don’t want to be told they can’t, or should not be teachers, parents, or nurses, hair stylists, flight attendants, etc. They also don’t want to be told that truck driving, logging, military or any dangerous type of work can only be done by men. There are very few jobs, indeed, that are limited to what kind of genitalia one has.
Human time and work has value, who is your bitch?
Just as “The man”, or boss man may have exploited those from whose labor he profits, racism and sexism usually rear up like twin dragons in this part of the discussion. Then the dragon starts up the whole identity politics part of historical accuracy arguments.
The dragons start spitting out racism and sexism like these two common enemies are sour ice-cream.
Another argument ensues as to whether those who were once called the N word, had it worse in their female or male bodies.
But whoever has been injured the worst is not so difficult to figure out when you consider that “You’re my bit, now, Jordan!” very likely once sounded like “You’re my N word now, Jordan!”
In many parts of the world, women are still considered owned house slaves. We need all hands on deck to tackle that angry dragon.
The twin dragons get into it about agenda driven justice.
When it comes the wage gap, it is measured differently depending upon who is doing the measuring, but what is seldom examined is that most men want a female partner to feel as appreciated, compensated, and confident as he does. Men want a choice to be the stay at home parent, just as much as women want the choice to not have to quit her job if it is the lower paying of the two.
Women can, and do, stop earning, (not to be confused with working) to have children, but most women, a much greater portion of the time, do NOT have an infant at home. As a matter of fact, there are millions and millions of women who never give birth, yet they remain under-represented in CEO and governmental positions. When all of these options are the norm, freedom of choice to be mommy, or a daddy, and/or a CEO, then feminism can sit back and relax. Opportunity, and not outcome, is what we all work for together.