Was Stormy Daniels Raped By Donald Trump? Why People Disagree
Most people agree that when a man takes advantage of a woman, offering dinner and then expecting something more, that is disgusting.
Could it be more disgusting? Maybe if he wants spanking with a Big Boy compensation magazine while he mutters about his daughter.
A great debate, triggered by the #MeToo movement, has people everywhere talking about the definition of rape. And consent. And privilege. And threats. And porn. Even prostitution.
Then there are all kinds of talking point pointy fingers — phrases that very soon push the conversation into a muddy pool of slime, murk and miscommunication. We are all lions, tigers, wallabies and baby bunnies fallen into a Shark Week tank. Among a Storm-Nado of fake news, WITCH HUNTS, Putin pee tape rumors, nuclear fears and the world melting, we have this. We have presidential appointments made and fired along a greasy trail of toddler handprint Cheesy puff stains all along the once hallowed halls of the people’s house, then there is this raunchy disarray.
Total chaos, no one can define what is happening with reliable words.
The debate is simple. The little details are not. Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy, insists she had consensual sex with a powerful man. She was not attracted to him. She did not want to have sex. Like, a prophetess envisioning the entire zeitgeist spawned on November 8, 2016, she felt,
“Ugh. Here we go.”
Here is the debate of why people care about whether consent matters for human autonomy. If you are decent, and most people are, you want your son or you daughter to learn bodily integrity. Modernity and the millennials are making real efforts to teach new generations four simple rules:
-When someone in any way indicates, I don’t want sex, or even to be touched, respect them.
-When someone does not offer consent, (as Storm ’06) but “let’s you go forward.” Take the safer path and do not continue to pursue. Not saying “NO” is not a yes.
-No matter if someone came to your room, was drunk, was sexy, or was the scarlet whore of Babylon, a human being who does not want sex should not be considered available to you.
-Victim blaming, especially internalized blaming of the self, has to be re-considered
In short, a person is a person. All of us, if we are ever to get past the obnoxious debate of whether someone is “asking for it,” must at the very least consider these four simple rules.
Do people make bad decisions? Yes. Did Stormy blame herself, feeling like she deserved it for those bad decisions? Yes. Did she think, perhaps she would be become the Joan of Arc to be burned repeatedly on twitter by haters, and threatened by “witch hunt” wonks? Doubt it. Or that she would be heralded as heroine of Herstory? No.
Have any of us ever had bad sex and regretted it? Again, yes. But that does not mean that we should stop trying to let all persons, have a say in how his or her body is used by others.
The big take-away, (besides the obvious truth that threatening several women for your bad behavior could bring you down faster than Mexico’s funding enthusiasm for a wall) is that prior to 2006 we allowed it to be the woman’s job in any sexual encounter to pay the consequences. It’s time to share, and at least discuss, that responsibility.
In review of the whole of our humanity internalizing these simple rules, (also known as “manners”) what is done unenthusiastically on the part of one party, is best called rape. It is the only way for people to truly understand that it is a kind of violation. No one says that date rape is just as bad as lurking- stabbing-murder rape. Yet, no kind of unwanted, physical attention should excuse that a major or minor crime, (or misstep) should have at least as much consequence for the perpetrator as it does for the survivor.
This woman reminds me of Mary Magdalene. She is maligned and joked about, but it would be wonderful to see her exorcise her inner demons while she brings down one bumbling beast of her sin. At the the same time she is helping us to move our dialogue forward.
Leap out of the Shark Week, into the merciless light of day where we must examine this.